Thursday, March 23, 2006

Hi! Wanna have ambigous sex?

"hey just came across your profile, your are very beautiful. well anyways im eric and im down here chillin in b-town. so if u wana chat or do anything hit me up at SHSGuardguy2004 on Aim."

That was the message I came across when I last checked my MySpace. (Yes, that's right, I admit it, I keep a MySpace. It's a long story about how and why I have one, so, please don't ask...) But MySpace is, for me anyway, simply a means to communicate with my friends that I forged a relationship with in person. Call me old-fashioned if you must, but I like to see facial expression and hear inflicion and tone of voice when I communicate with someone--at least at first (because after awhile, it's pretty easy to imagine the tone of a conversation with someone whom you are familiar simply by typed text). I also meet my friends through other friends and aquaintances because it gives me a sense of security to know that someone I trust, trusts this person that is unfamiliar to me.

Maybe that's why this particular message has me confused and a little rattled. eric (who appearantly doesn't believe in using capital letters or proper grammer) is completely unknown to me. Not only does he introduce himself in his note, but then immediatly invites me to hang out or "anything" and gives me his contact information. Am I wrong in thinking this is all a little forward?

But my imagination doesn't stop there. Now, more than likely, this guy is just lonely, new to the area, and a little unfamiliar with how to properly communicate with the opposite sex. But, for me this situation is a little too familiar and more than a little uncomfortable. Maybe I should rewind...

When I was thirteen and new to the internet, I went into chat room and communicated with complete strangers quite frequently. That is, until I met "adam" (again, he didn't really put much into using capital letters, either). Adam seemed like an okay guy; he instant messaged (IM'd) me after I posted my age, sex, and location (a/s/l) in the chat room. We talked for hours, and I was really enjoying myself, especially since adam was older than me (he was 16) and from the area (he lived about 10 minutes from my house). So I easily agreed when he asked that we "hang out". We did, and things quickly went down hill. It was appearant from the very start that he wanted me to do something sexual with him. The things Adam was insinuating made me feel uncomfortable the whole time, and by the time we were done hanging out, I never really cared to see him anymore.

Adam had other plans, though.

Adam wouldn't stop calling or coming by my house. After I made it clear that I didn't really want to see him anymore, he got scary. He made threats and said preverted things to me. He showed up at my school in hopes to confront me. In the end, it took the quick thinking of my parents and a restraining order to get him away from me and out of my life.

Hopefully, that explains my hesitant nature in reguards to Eric, as well as my previous skittish behavior around men in general.

But what to do with "eric"? That's the real question. How should I respond, if I should respond at all? Do I give this guy the benefit of the doubt, and go by my Christian background and believe no one is undeserving of my friendship and love? Ethically, I feel obligated to respond to a frendily letter, but what if he isn't trying to be friendly, or, worse...what if he's trying to be TOO friendly?

So now, after getting over the initial shock of such an ubrupt letter from nowhere, I sit here trying to anaylze exactly what he means with every single word. "your are very beautiful", I have to determine whether it's a compliment, or if it's a quick attempt to try to get something from me. Everything that normal conversation could place, by tone of voice, how it was said, etc., is skewed to having various meanings. Which makes me feel skewed as a result. Instead of being flattered, I presonally feel a mix of emtion, and most of all suspicious, and guilty because of that suspicion.

So here I sit. I thing I'll send a message back. Short, sweet, and yet vague. I'm not in a rush to get myself in a dangerous situation, but who am I to say no to someone who is simply looking for a friend?

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